nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
