I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
