I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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