jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
