Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
