Moan for me like Helen Keller
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
