I love black thongs
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
