these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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