whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
