like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i think my cat just said my name.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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