Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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