UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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