I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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