omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
