I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
