I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
