Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
