would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
