At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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