I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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