okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
