I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Randomize
