dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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