its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
