Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
All the doctor said was why
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
