Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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