I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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