After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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