Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize