i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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