help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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