Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
