i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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