woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
