sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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