you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
