Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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