I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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