How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize