dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
