We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
