I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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