My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
