He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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