Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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