I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
