It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize