I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
