i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
