i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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