I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dear god my vagina.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
