My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
