I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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