? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Michael Bay diarrhea
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
