i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
