she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
