My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
