so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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