I must be too annoying 4 u.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
