We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
