your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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