high people should be assigned attendants
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize