Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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