Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Soap is not a condiment
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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