I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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