he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
