AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
