Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
