You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize