Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize