I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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