I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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