I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
