i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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