i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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