I'm so fucking centered right now
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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