I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
