It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
