Your tits are I can't wait for
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
