She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize