i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
