Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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