let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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